Too Young to Potty Train?

At what point is a child too young to potty train? This is a common question, especially for first time moms. Now, I have my own views on it, which I'm finding people look down upon. As a family effort we started potty training my step daughter back in February. Now there is a reason for it even though she was only 16 months old. People say this is too young and she won't understand. Now, this child doesn't like wet/dirty diapers. She takes them off if she goes in them or she knows she is going to wet them. I don't believe that if they are taking their diaper off for this reason that you should tape a diaper on or put them in certain clothes to prevent taking it off. Show them the potty and start sitting them on it. No, they aren't going to get the WHOLE concept, BUT it's going to start the association. Potty training is going slow. I didn't expect it to happen over night. But we are starting to use the potty more often and it's exciting! Follow the child's lead. Everyone has or develops their own method. If it works, stick to it. If it doesn't, consult with other parents and see what they have done. Every child is different. Not every child uses the potty at 18 months. Some take much longer. My nephew was almost 4 before he was completely potty trained. Just remember not to make it stressful on you or your child.

Pathetic Loser

Men who create children that they cannot care for. This is disgusting. When you already have three, one lives in another state and you aren't even allowed contact with your other two unsupervised because of a sexual offense where you did something to one of them, why did you create another life to bring into this world? And trying to convince the mother to "let you send money" in lieu of paying child support? You don't support the ones that you have, why would you support this new child? You're so far behind in child support that you will probably never have your driver's license back. You're pathetic. You're 30 years old, you have never had a tax paying job, you went for a 20 year old fresh out of a relationship who was hurting. You left her, stole her shit, and had no plans of coming back or ever contacting her again. But, guess what! She's pregnant and now you're going to pay for this child or face the legal repercussions.

Exotic Dancers

So, here is another rant, about Exotic Dancers. Now, I have nothing against these girls that dance. I think that these women, to do what they do, they are VERY talented to be able to pull off some of these dance moves on a pole. A true good Exotic Dancer knows how to use her body and her dancing to seduce and entice. What is pathetic are the dancers with very poor morals who ruin this job for the good girls. There are dancers who are honestly out there who are trying to pay for college or support a family. They don't make good money for their honest talent because there are completely trashy girls who will do anything for a buck. Girls that will walk out of the bar and make $400+ in one night while everyone else is walking out with $20 or less! Why do these trashy girls walk out with so much money? Because these are the ones that will do almost ANYTHING they can get away with in the private dance areas. These are the girls who make themselves into prostitutes and offer these men special favors. They take away from the honest girls. This is gross. These are the types of dancers that will get pregnant by one of the customers, not know which one and then proceed to go abort the baby so they can continue what they do. They put themselves at risk of so many things and put the customers and the bar at risk too. They ruin what a true Exotic Dancer is for the good girls who do their job properly.

The Purpose of Child Support

This is by no means directed at anyone. This is a generalized rant based on what I see on Facebook all the time from single moms. What is child support actually for? To me, it's for the care of the child. This includes clothing, shoes, household bills, gas for your vehicle, school fees, and things of that nature. What is child support not for? For you to get you hair done, your nails done, buy a new wardrobe, go out drinking, buy cigarettes, well you get the point, right? I mean come on! If your child has very few diapers left, but it's more important for you to get your nails filled, you need to prioritize. I should not look at your Facebook on Thursday and see "can't wait for child support so I can go drinking with the girls tonight" just to look at it on Monday and see a post saying "anyone got $10 I can borrow, I need diapers". Your child should come before anything "extra". You don't need your hair died, you don't need acrylic nails, you don't need cigarettes. Your child should have everything that they need before you take care of your wants.

Disgusts Me

Something that really, really bothers me. Abortion as a birth control method. As of late I have seen/met SO many girls that have decided that their method of birth control is abortion. This disgusts me. In Lorain County (where most of these girls are from) there are many birth control methods and other preventatives available at little to no cost. Instead they choose to take the chance at getting pregnant and then put forth larger sums of money to kill the child growing inside of them. Now my personal views are not COMPLETELY pro-life. I label myself as more of pro-circumstance. I believe abortion is justified in rape and medical reasoning. Yes, I do believe that an abortion is taking a life. What bothers me the most is, why is whatever higher power is out there, letting these girls who are constantly killing their babies repeatedly get pregnant? Then there is me. Someone who wants a child, who has suffered eight miscarriages and knows that it is likely that I will never carry a child. If you don't want kids, why not go to Family Planning. They don't ask for proof if you work, so if you really can't afford it, DON'T TELL THEM THAT YOU WORK! Then the services AND birth control are COMPLETELY FREE. Further more, Lorain County Family Planning has partnered with select pharmacies to offer the morning after pill at a lower cost when it's outside of Family Planning hours. Why does abortion seem to be such a popular answer to unwanted pregnancies that could be prevented? I'm sorry, but these women who do that are DISGUSTING to me.

Step Parenting

Being a step parent isn't an easy task. When you accept someone that has children, you have to accept the whole package. When the child is an infant/toddler, it can be even tougher. You have the other parent who still has raw emotion for the loss of the significant other. You have the fact that this child is getting a step parent before they can talk, so what do you have them call you? With older children, I acknowledge that it's still difficult. At that point there is the problem with acceptance. The other children don't want mommy/daddy to be with other people, they should be together. When you don't have a child and the infant/toddler child decides to refer to you with a "mom" term, it's pretty awkward. You're not used to it. Feel like it's not your place. I'm coming to accept it though and having his ex be civilized makes things even better. She gets "mama" and I get "ma". I'm beginning to understand that this young child who feels comfortable enough with me to refer to me in a motherly way is a big deal. It shows there is love, respect and a bond. I'm glad that I was able to bond with her. There are so many step parents out there that take the immature route and won't get involve with their significant other's children because they aren't "their's". That's not taking the whole package. It creates an unnecessary tension. I'm so thankful that my future step daughter has a mother who communicates with me. I love that we can all get together as one big "family".

Too Soon?

How soon is too soon to get married? How soon is too soon to plan children? These are a couple things that I have been battling. People are telling me that I'm nuts for planning to marry my Love. I see nothing wrong with planning our wedding. I know that we've only been together for seven months, but it just feels right. There have been people that have had life long relationships when they've only known the person for days. I see nothing wrong with planning a wedding for shortly after one year. It's love. It feels right. It's not like we're total strangers, we had a friendship prior to our relationship. He feels as if he is my best friend and the relationship...activities are just a bonus! Lol. And, yes, we are planning on having children. We aren't preventing and we aren't trying. If it happens then it's meant to be. The higher power out there has a plan and if we're meant to have a child, it's going to happen no matter what prevention we use. Everything happens for a reason. This is all showing me who my true friends are. I've had people abandon me over the fact that I love being a step parent and will put the child before "going out". I've had people totally disrespect me over the fact that I plan to marry my Love so soon after a divorce. I'm not asking for you to totally agree with me. I'm your friend, I'm asking your support in what I choose. I don't always agree with what my friends do, but I don't ditch or disrespect them over it either. Ugh. So, yeah, this is just a random 5 AM rant. Stuff that has been on my mind for a while. Feel free to add your two cents.

The Victim

You play the victim when all along, you've been the one committing the crimes. You act like you're being denied your children when you haven't even volunteered to stop by on your way home to see them. So you're working extra hours? Who said that if you wanted to see your kids that you couldn't stop by to give them hugs and kisses. You want them to learn about God so much? Why haven't you taken them to church? You think that your partner leaving is her fault and that she's tearing apart the family? What did YOU do to cause her to feel that she needs to leave and have lost the love for you that she once had? Have you thought that they were so done with the "old you" that they don't even want the "new you" because you made your changes a little too late? Why fight with them? Make the best of it for the kids. Don't cause so much stress between the two of you when it's only going to reflect on the children.

Gone

You never know what you have until it's gone. When you fail to show love for so many years, it's a little late once they leave. It's a little too late to commit to a marriage when it's over. Follow the grieving process, and move on with your life. It may seem impossible, but life does and will go on. Make the best of your situation. This isn't the early 19th century where divorces were unheard of. They are quite common. A person is no longer "stuck" in an unhappy marriage. Appreciation should be shown to your significant other whenever you can. Show them their love. Take a minute to sit back and realize how great they are. If you don't, you will find yourself realizing how great they are when it's too late and they are already with the one who knew all along how great they were.

Sexy and Attractive

This is out of the blue, but I'm an avid reader of Cosmo and honestly, when it comes to what they say is "sexy" in a man, I can't help but laugh. I mean, yeah, great biceps, a six pack, great ass are all nice to look at, BUT there is something that I think tops ANYTHING physical about a man. What that is, is a man who is a GREAT father. Now, I'm not saying that my man isn't attractive. There are many things that I love about him, from his looks all the way to his personality. What really makes me look at him like there is no other man on Earth? The way he is with his daughter and other children! Now, a man doesn't have to have children for you to see the "Great Father Factor". Look at how he interacts with the younger generations of his or your family. To me, there is nothing more attractive than seeing my man play with, interact with and correct/guide his daughter and our nieces and nephews. I know this is pretty short, but I just had to put this out there.

Infidelity

What is infidelity? According to Webster, it is the "quality of being unfaithful". My question is, why do people resort to cheating? All it does is create a larger tension and pain for both parties. If you feel like you have to cheat, then don't be in a committed relationship. And if you're already in one, be honest with the other party that you no longer have feelings for them. It will hurt much less than them finding out later on that you were with another (other) girl(s). Also, in the act of being unfaithful, do yourself a favor and try not to procreate. When you already have children with other women that you don't fully take care of, why are you going to create more?!

What Is A Whore?

Now, what exactly is it that makes someone a whore? Everyone has their differing views. Some view me as a whore because I have a sexual relationship with my boyfriend when I am not yet legally divorced. I don't see this as wrong. Is a whore just someone having multiple partners? Is it someone having multiple partners without protecting themselves? Is it someone that isn't married, but having a sexual relationship? Is sex even really something that is only to be done within the sanctity of a legal marriage?
Here are my views. You are classified as a "whore" to me when you have multiple sexual relations (especially with those that you do not know well or are random encounters) and you fail to protect yourself from pregnancy and STD. Meeting with random people that you don't even know, just to have sex is not a safe and healthy decision. I don't care if you can't have children. People who have had their tubes tied in the past have ended up with those "miracle babies". Not to mention that there is more than pregnancy to be concerned with. Not all STD's are treatable with a round of antibiotics. Some are permanent. There is no cure for AIDS. Some cause cancer. There are varying forms of HPV and no way to tell which men are carriers. If the ones that are treatable are left alone for too long, they can cause PID. 
Do I believe that sex should only be done within the sanctity of a marriage. No. To me, sex is something natural. BUT, if I'm not with one monogamous partner, I make sure that not only am I on birth control, but I'm also using a barrier protection as well. I also make sure that I have regular PAP and STD tests. Now, don't take this wrong. I'm not saying that I have many partners, but in the past, I did. But I always took action to protect myself. 
So, in short, to me: A whore is someone who has multiple partners within a short period of time that does not use protection. Especially when these sexual partners are people that you meet from the internet for just the purpose of having sex. You don't know these people. You don't know their sexual history. You don't know their mental history. You are putting yourself in a bad situation all the way around. Here is something to think on, especially if you aren't protecting yourself from pregnancy: "Is this someone that I want to have a child with" and "How will I feel about myself if I become pregnant and can't identify who the child's father is". 

The Rose

" A relationship is like a rose. How long it lasts, no one knows. Love can erase an awful past, love can be yours, you'll see at last. To feel that love, it makes you sigh. To have it leave, you'd rather die. You hope you've found that special rose, cause you love and care for the one you choose. "-Cella
I randomly found this online and LOVED it. Love really can erase an awful past. With my Love, I forget the problems and abuse that I endured. I forget what it's like to feel a broken heart. To find that I can love freely is a wonderful feeling. It's something that I never want to lose. My Love really is my "special rose".
He shows me this everyday. He never has to point out what he does in love. He works himself ragged with two jobs, so I don't have to work as hard. He still helps me out with housework so that it's not entirely my burden to bear. He shows it in his hugs and kisses. He shows it when he comes up and wraps his arms around me while I'm doing the dishes and tells me how beautiful I am. It shows in the mornings when my hair is a mess and my breath is horrible, but he still kisses me and says "good morning beautiful".
I never thought that I would find such happiness as what I have now. I don't believe that I initially married the wrong person. I don't think that it's horrible that after only two years of marriage, I'm going through a divorce. It happened to get me on the path that I'm on now. Everything happens for a reason. Without being married and my soon to be ex-husband being a gamer, then I most likely would have never gotten to know my Love.

In Denial

As someone going through a divorce, I can honestly say, breaking up your family and finding that the love you once had is gone really, really f*cking sucks! BUT, the best thing to do is accept it, cope and move on. Don't live in denial that it's happening. It's just going to hurt worse than you could imagine. I've let go, coped and moved on. Hurtful things were done and said, but it's over.
Why hold on when I know that they're in love with and being with someone else? It hurts to let go, but it's for the best. If you love someone enough, then you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Things won't be "worked out" when they've been in ruin for so long. Don't hold on to a "till death do us part vow" and create a hostile environment for your children. It's not going to work if only one person is working on the relationship and when one person puts forth all the effort for years then gives up I don't blame them. What the inactive party needs to realize is, yes, after all these years, it is too late to start putting in that effort. The effort should have been done mutually instead of someone realizing, "Oh sh*t, now they want a divorce. Guess I better try to fix this".